Looking through the blogs and stuffs, yesterday I was left with 3 choices as to whom to call: Hannah, Zi En, or Li Yun. The first two were apparently depressed, and Li Yun I haven't spoken to for some time now. Thinking a little, it became obvious to me who I needed to call the most. I miss Li Yun, she's someone I really trust and love to hang around with. Besides, I should be having a date with Hannah soon-ish and Zi En should be coming to church annnyyy week now.
Had an Urban Operations Live Firing today, where we fired live, it-can-totally-kill-people, bullets while standing in the confines of a building. Uber cool =)
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"Shane, what're you thinking about?"
"Nothing much,"
"Just blank?"
"Yeah..."
"What do you think about after your mind goes blank?"
"... Naomi,"
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But it's strange now. Happy memories that once made me cringe now just make me smile. I look back at past experiences with her, all the romantic things we ever did, all the hand-holding and hugging and going out and kisses... And in my heart there's this voice that says, "Soon, kiddo, you'll find another girl to create new memories with. These memories will be nothing compared to her,"
So I remember, and I enjoy the experience of my meomries for as long as they're still there. One day soon, I'll be ready to give everything all over again, and maybe this time I'll be a better man, worthy of her everything too. Yeah... I'm an idealist =P
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Hilary's birthday yesterday, or today, however you see it... It feels so weird, holding back and not wishing her happy birthday at least... Partially cos I was out the whole of today and totally unable to send her anything, but I know it ain't the right time nor the right thing to do for me to wish her anything... Somehow... I just know it.
Lord, it's so weird, honestly. Not too long ago I would've said, "I trust Hilary with my life!" but now I'm not even sure if I'm a casual friend to her, let alone what she means to me... Will this rift ever be closed, Lord? I'd really like to have my friend back. Or are You moulding her into something incredible there, where she's bound to grow and glow? Lord, I pray You'll give her joy and peace, and she'll never run dry on love, ever. Abba, please look after her, for I know that You are the Lord of Singapore and Leets (UK), and I trust that You'll have incredible things for her...
Love You, Lord. So much. Thanks for everything You've done so far, in my life, in everyone's lives. You're the Hero, may all good things bring You glory in the end. Amen =)
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Typed this entire post with my eyes closed, cos it's almost 2am and I'm exhausted... God bless y'all! =)
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